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Oh, i love days which start with good news. :) Greetings to new parents!

This weekend we realized our Christmas-present: a weekend at Värska spa. Värska is known for it's sparkling springwater, sanatorium and (healing) mud-baths. The sanatorium was established in the 70es and it still carries that vibe (building, food, interior), but feels probably comfortable for the older generation, who otherwise in too fancy lounge-rooms with white couches would feel awkward and out-of-place. Since 2009 a water-centre joined the sanatorium and formed Värska spa. It's the only one in Estonia where you can swim in springwater. The water-center has various swimmingpools and is .. well, more modern. It's also a popular dating-place for the local youth.  :))

Martin wanted to give the family a present, that would make each member happy and it was a success: he got to swim every day, the boys enjoyed the water and the salt-chamber, i got a massage and was freed from cooking and cleaning for the weekend. Perfect.

Now it's back to house-chores and drving-school. Can do it!

♥

"Change is safe"

This was said by a friend, who quoted someone, who thought of this in a difficult moment (or is it from a song?). Since I've heard it, i feel that it's a powerful sentence, with a very though and deep meaning behind, once you start reminiscing. It is comforting. Life seems to be about change, something we fear and need at the same time. The positive and the negative. Now, when i think of it, it's scary. Especially the negative.

But about the positive: I'm making a change too. I rolled in a driving-school last year and this week had my first driving lessons, today in the freaking intercity, at 6.15pm, right after rush-hour! Okay, this is a little town and the traffic is actually "drowsy" as experienced people say, but for me it was like woawoawoawoooaaaa! 

We survived.  Huh!

But I sure am exited. A new world is opening up again little by little. I like that. It's like learning a new language. Fluent is the goal.

New year. Why not start something new?

Oh, this reminds me of a quote of Monty Phyton " ..and now for something completely different: a man with two noses."

♥

There was a post intended in September with pictures of an old farm, a barn with no roof, old trees and plenty of space. The words under it: we bought a farm. For months i was exited and happy about it, but then it didn't work out. One of last years most tough lessons. Seems that in these two years i aged ten. It's great to be able to know what you want, but when it becomes too difficult to achieve... then what? I start to question myself, and the confidence of living on a farm is shaken hard. Would i even fit in the village atmosphere? What was the big plan anyway?
Well, for my family it would be great. Growing up in small and safe community, spending time outside and doing things hand in hand with nature. It's a world very unfamiliar to me, but it exits me to try to stretch out my limits and face some of my fears. I am not even thinking that it'll be isolating or lonely, because that can happen easy in big cities too. We've been saving up first to have a wedding, then the idea of the farm came and now we're too stingy to use that money "just" for celebrating something, but there's no farm, no house, not even an apartment at sight as well. Nothing is decided yet. But it feels a bit like having two empty hands.

Anyway, i hope this year we can figure some of it out. 
Sitting here with an ear-infection, writing about limits and fears, having this or that... unsure is the word i guess i was looking for. All i want is to get better and to my family to stay healthy. Everything else comes after that. But it still comes, right?

♥

Huh, this post has been started at least three times(nights) already. So, what was i saying again?  :))

Happy 2014!

After Christmas we decided to stay at home on new years eve, to have some quiet time. We planned to put the kids to bed and then stay up just until after midnight, before having a nice dinner. I got all ready to roll some sushi (that's what i call it) and bake a pie and all. Kind of romantic for young parents: eating good food by ourselves and then watching the fireworks form our winter-garden. There were some ingredients still missing for my sushi (like... the main things), so we headed all out on the 31th. Some kids were trying already their fireworks out and that's when our plan to escape was again on the table. Truth is, we prefer not to stay in the city/town on new years eve. It's noisy. And there's this nervousness, i think.

Since our guests, who planned dropping by, also cancelled, the road was clear. Like crazy ants we baked the pie, rolled the sushi, packed our bags and at 5pm started the car to drive 100 km south to our friends, who run a sheep-farm and to celebrate new years eve in a village centre.

Well, like a miracle our two little ones just slept almost until midnight, so we could dance, eat and converse with people. Twelve o'clock we wished happy new year through the phone to each other: i was nursing Miki inside (in solemn loneliness) and Martin and Juss were outside looking at the fireworks coming from the neighbour village (or somewhere.. i wasn't there, i have no idea). Soon after that, we headed to sleep in front of a fireplace. We snored before the babes did. 

It was an interesting evening and the following day. Some thoughts came up again and made us think. I this the year we'll making those decisions?  About that, next time.

The next day i was at loss, like always when im a guest, i don't know what to do... i feel so awkward eating myself away (there are some amazing cooks over there), so i ended up hiking outside in the woods with some of the kids of the house. That was quite amazing and i had a great time. I was not their nanny, but a friend and that's such a better position to be in. 

Winter is coming at last!

♥

Es ist kalt. Das erste mal in diesem Winter, diese Kälte. Sie bringt uns in das neue Jahr. Frost schmückt den Boden, Sterne die Himmelskuppel. Die Kälte beißt an Beinen, Fingern, an meiner Nase. Ein paar Meter von uns ist die Feier im Kulturhaus im vollem Gange. Tanzende Figuren schaukeln an goldig glühenden Fenstern vorbei. Es ist still. Die Musik, als käme sie von einer anderen Welt, stört die Stille hier nicht. Diesseits, wo die ganze Erde im Nullpunkt zu stehen scheint. Wohl die Sterne, denke ich, die schwere Samt-decke mit Brillanten bestickt. Es ist unheimlich so weit durch den Kosmos zu blicken, durch die bekannten Figuren, in den staubig zarten Sterneschein dahinter.