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Im wrapping up Mervi Juusolas "Energy-book for mothers":

Women tend to overwork. Really? Even when they're on baby-holiday (that's what it's called here). There is no holiday, (maybe the fist month or two with the first one :)), since it's said, that one day at home is often much harder, than the working-hours in the office. (I guess it's because of the intensity (of emotions) children have). The goals for moms are always set high (kids, household, work, style) and one of the easiest ways to handle it, is to become the boss around the house, who knows everything and who does everything. This might push other family members aside and in the end doesn't benefit the "boss" as well. When mom wakes up Saturday morning, her brain starts immediately organizing it all: laundry, breakfast, where the family should go, what to pack and so one and one. Dad might think of breakfast :) Juusola suggests to let go sometimes, to have friends over, even when the house is not as clean as a pearl, to let the dishes in the sink if it's already past 9 pm. Sleep, rest, take time. Nobody is perfect. Not before having kids and not after either, so why die trying?

As Juusola writes, no one in the family can expect that life goes on the same way it did before: no sport-club visits on five nights in a week are here negotiable, maybe two-  a baby needs its parents, both of them. The sooner dad is in the same boat, the better for everyone. I totally agree with that :) That means letting little mistakes happen: the wrong hat with the wrong shirt. The only thing a dad can not do, or can't learn how to do, is nursing. The only one, says Juusola. The overworking mom first has to let go, and then let (=lead) dad in.

In the first chapter about relationships Juusola points out, that it doesn't matter how good the relationship was before becoming parents, there are still hurdles coming your way. Parenthood is one of the biggest tryouts for a relationship and the reason is simple: exhaustion and dull routine. They bring the best out of us (: We tend to fight our partner instead of the tiresomeness and our own ego. 

And the book is a lot about self-discipline and reasonable time managing, as these are key-elements for relaxed times. There are many weird understandings in our society(societies) about women (about men too), and i guess, we shouldn't take them into our heads and hearts. Having an hour for yourself, when the house looks like there's been a tornado, is nothing to feel bad about, and shouldn't be blamed on by other family-members either.

What i just learned form experience and that was also mentioned in the book, was that during nap-time, i tended to over-organize it, i was looking forward to it as a chance to do all the chores, take a shower, read a book, send e-mails,..  the list could go on forever. But a nap is not that reliable, and perhaps there is a chance to do two of those things, usually just one. (and how disappointing this feels, when you didn't reach your goals for the day!) In the book it's said, that nap-time should be just time to rest, like the child is. Leave the household be and concentrate on yourself and only on one activity (like sleeping too for example :)).