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 what a strong wind

 almost blew us away :)

calmness between trees

A glimpse back at summer. The two trips to Hiiumaa island were definitely the highlights of my summer. It was great to have a break and a different kind of surrounding and this feeling of vacation. This year, like everyone here say, was fantastic considering the weather: it was a long and sunny summer, not cold, not too hot, just perfect. Last year we had no real vacation and no holiday weather. It's been all made up now.

These photos are taken on the last day of our first trip. It was so windy. We took a ride to the southeast of Hiiumaa to maybe listen to a concert (ended up not doing that, should have bought the tickets before) and doing a little "hike"(like a tourist, a pregnant tourist). It was so refreshing, since i started to feel a little stuck-on-an-island-feeling and it turned it around. Having a car is something, that i can appreciate now :) 

Im still in the midst of reorganizing everything. I think im also driving Martin mad with all the details i want to be fixed or changed or (even worse) made (because i discovered, i need a easel for my painting- yeah, who knew!?). And what the fat lady wants, she should get :)) And if she wants to eat bowls of cheesy pasta and tiramisu, she might as well do so; not really doing my diet in healthy foods right now. tskk-tskk-tskk. But there are things beyond our power and imagination, that just lead us to our destiny. (: Sometimes a pasta can have that power.

Stay humorous and enjoy Sunday! 

♥

 Trying to catch a gray cat.

August is almost over and im getting anxious about September. Oh, the September-blues! Will it come this year?

I do get annoyed sometimes by the silliest things. Like getting down four pairs of stairs with three bags around my neck, a toddler on my hip, and a 9th month pregnancy, when the guy next to me (hands free) expects me to open the door. And he was being polite in a sense of "ladies first".  Now it's kind of funny :) but at that moment... 

Hiro was back to visit Tartu, sadly only for one day, but it was fun and made me regain my good spirit. I don't know what it is, but i like hanging around people i've known before parenting and outside that context. Is that weird? I guess, im not that playground-mom type, which is a pity, since we are heading in to full-time motherhood here in the coming month :). 

♥

Im wrapping up Mervi Juusolas "Energy-book for mothers":

Women tend to overwork. Really? Even when they're on baby-holiday (that's what it's called here). There is no holiday, (maybe the fist month or two with the first one :)), since it's said, that one day at home is often much harder, than the working-hours in the office. (I guess it's because of the intensity (of emotions) children have). The goals for moms are always set high (kids, household, work, style) and one of the easiest ways to handle it, is to become the boss around the house, who knows everything and who does everything. This might push other family members aside and in the end doesn't benefit the "boss" as well. When mom wakes up Saturday morning, her brain starts immediately organizing it all: laundry, breakfast, where the family should go, what to pack and so one and one. Dad might think of breakfast :) Juusola suggests to let go sometimes, to have friends over, even when the house is not as clean as a pearl, to let the dishes in the sink if it's already past 9 pm. Sleep, rest, take time. Nobody is perfect. Not before having kids and not after either, so why die trying?

As Juusola writes, no one in the family can expect that life goes on the same way it did before: no sport-club visits on five nights in a week are here negotiable, maybe two-  a baby needs its parents, both of them. The sooner dad is in the same boat, the better for everyone. I totally agree with that :) That means letting little mistakes happen: the wrong hat with the wrong shirt. The only thing a dad can not do, or can't learn how to do, is nursing. The only one, says Juusola. The overworking mom first has to let go, and then let (=lead) dad in.

In the first chapter about relationships Juusola points out, that it doesn't matter how good the relationship was before becoming parents, there are still hurdles coming your way. Parenthood is one of the biggest tryouts for a relationship and the reason is simple: exhaustion and dull routine. They bring the best out of us (: We tend to fight our partner instead of the tiresomeness and our own ego. 

And the book is a lot about self-discipline and reasonable time managing, as these are key-elements for relaxed times. There are many weird understandings in our society(societies) about women (about men too), and i guess, we shouldn't take them into our heads and hearts. Having an hour for yourself, when the house looks like there's been a tornado, is nothing to feel bad about, and shouldn't be blamed on by other family-members either.

What i just learned form experience and that was also mentioned in the book, was that during nap-time, i tended to over-organize it, i was looking forward to it as a chance to do all the chores, take a shower, read a book, send e-mails,..  the list could go on forever. But a nap is not that reliable, and perhaps there is a chance to do two of those things, usually just one. (and how disappointing this feels, when you didn't reach your goals for the day!) In the book it's said, that nap-time should be just time to rest, like the child is. Leave the household be and concentrate on yourself and only on one activity (like sleeping too for example :)).

♥

Hiiumaa

Time is flying, almost racing. Our neighbourhood kids have been sleeping in the bungalow outside for a week or so, which means loud noise till midnight. I feel a bit jealous, they're having a lot of fun.  It's been raining mushroom-rain. And i've stared making to-do-lists. That can mean only one thing.... soon. These weeks will go fast.

Last days have gone sorting clothes, reorganizing drawers, making plans how to move some furniture, when and how to meet up with people and all that. It's just funny how nature works. 

Tonight we wanted to host a dinner and ended up doing so, despite the confusion about who's gonna cook the lamb, and that in the middle of my rice-cooking our electric-system just crashed. For two hours, before guests should arrive. So when the first guests arrived... we had almost nothing. Not even music to cheer us up. For a moment i felt overwhelmed and lost. It did turn around though. Juss got to play with friends and the dinner-lamb our friends cooked was just so delicious.

My try to make a chicken-quiche failed, it suffered a horrible death. The chicken never go to meet the oven. Sometimes pastry just does unimaginable things. Or i'm just not friends with it. We'll see what will happen to the chicken tomorrow.

Nighty-night!

♥

When ever i read about sleep-training, my shoulders shiver like i was watching a horromovie. I don't exactly know why i have such strong feelings about it, well against it, but just everything about it sounds so wrong to me, in headlights. I asked my mom if she did that with me and she said no. But then again she doesn't remember that i slept with a light to an age where i remember it... so who knows (:

I tried to find the link to the research made with babys where they were measuring heartrate and brain-functions on babys who were left to cry (therefore to sleep); the result was, that even when babies stopped crying and parents assumed they were sound asleep, the babies heartrates were still in panicmode and hysteria. (If i find the link to it, ill edit this post by adding it in. I'll let you know.)

How would i feel, if i cried and nobody came to ask me if im okay? (Well, we do have this kind of society sadly aswell, but anyway.) What an perspective! And from parents point of view...we don't have a flowery slumber time here either, but *shrug* ... to complain about how someone has to pat their kid, or sing songs, or rock in the chair for 30 minutes... really? 
A scared hysterical child who's given up the initial feeling to cry for help and comfort, is any better?

I do complain being tired and that it's the hardest part of it all. But there are solutions, better ones and we can manage, granny helps, a friend, a book.

Well, that's that. 

Elizabeth Pantley's book "The no-cry sleep solution" may be of help to someone. Or if someone is interested in co-sleeping.

♥

A little summary (and review?) of Mervi Juusola's mothers energybook "So that mom could handle it" (that's a really bad translation actually ), the orginal finnish title is "Äidin voimakirja". The book is divided in four big chapters that also include smaller chapters about one subject, but in between there are these twelve reminders, to make everyday life a bit easier:

1. When you're tired, then be tired

2. Hug yourself

3. Behold of playing the Boss in the house (nagging, bossing, correcting others/your partner)

4. Set yourself boundaries

5. Enjoy moments of happiness

6. Believe in your child and in yourself

7. Stop being mean

8. Cherish free time

9. Don't hold crudges

10. Be brave enough to stop

11. Beware of being overly duteous

12. Enjoy life, keep yourself agile

They all seem these logical and simple steps to take, but in fact do need to be reminded of. I like how they are explicit explained and how every chapter lays the problems roots out; for example the first one: why parents are exhausted and why moms don't let themselves be tired and take brakes.

What is the tricky part in the book is the part about dads, where the book is clearly meant for moms. So the question is: how to convey the information given in the book to the other part in a way that it is constructive. Or is it already enough, that by reading the book you have these funny realizations about how all parents go through the same path of exhaustion and stress? For me personally it was a surprise. I never thought, that one could be so tired that they'll forget their neighbors name. Every other day :))

Some fun stories about this zombie-phenomena here! (But im sure they are funny mostly for those who can relate)

♥

When i look outside, i see rain, some blue sky and wind bending treetops, which are heavy with apples, nuts, pears, and tiny plums. The fall is soon here. I felt it my toes, as we walked home yesterday from a dinner in my summer-shoes. Even some yellow leaves were lying around. My phone has started to ring - people are back from holidays, still going to the countryside, because the real work will soon begin, but their back in their minds from beaches and seawater and green outdoor activities, thinking about, what they'll do next year. August is the month of visiting people it seems, with watermelons, the reminder of the hot sun, and stories about how this summer has been, where everyone has been and they have done. It's a rich month. Of friends and food and life. 

The last day we didn't take the camera with us to the beach or anywhere in Hiiumaa and that was when we encountered the most calm sea, a surface like a mirror, water so clear, that we could see our feet. The sky was dark blue, building up rainclouds, and it was so warm to swim, as if being hugged by the water. Maybe it's best that there is no picture to document a fragment of it, since it could never give it all (at least my camerahandling ability doesn't). And memories start resembling more to the photographs than the memories?
One bag less to carry and eyes wide open. It was a beautiful time. Thanks for having us!

♥

We decided spontaneously to go back to Hiiumaa on Thursday. Deciding the last minute brought questions on the ship like "Where are Juss'ss sandals? We didn't take them!?", but we managed despite all little inconveniences quite well. Going like that was even a bit more relaxed, 'cos we'd already done this once, so we knew what to expect. 
Sadly we left in a hurry, so coming back on Monday evening, we had a nice view of a mess of toys and all sorts of things. I've been trying to clean this place for two evenings now. It does look better :)

Connections are slow, for now it'll be it. Need some sleep too!

♥

 

 I remember i did this list of things, that i wanted to do, when i was writing my papers for the uni. So now i look at it and must say, that im doing quite good.

 - I wanted to organize all of my drawers, but especially the two big ones and i got them done, yey!

- make some granola!- July has been a granola month indeed :)

- write letters and emails to friends. - This one i should do more, there are some addresses that still need love, but im working on it!

- meet up with friends!- Yeah! Time flies, when you're having fun!

-  make rhubarb-orange jam - What i did was a strawberry-rhubarb jam! One jar as a (part of a) present for our friends wedding.

- order shea-or cocobutter and make my own bodybutter. - Done! Love both. Added coconut- and sea-buckthorn-oil and i have found my favorite cosmetic product.

- find cute and nature-friendly toys, and make a crochet- mouse, like the one i had, when i was little :)) - i have made three, two as a present, and the third one might also find a new friend :D since cars are the greatest things here. But i've found some cute wooden cars as well.

- cook! like jamie oliver (: - i have a long way to go...

- watch the film "Samsaara" - it was beautiful and one of the saddest films i've seen. And definitely something i'd want to read more about, about the places and frames that were shown. And im intrigued to watch other movies, that the same people have made.

- get a dress for our friends wedding and a cardigan. Done halfway, because the part with the cardigan was/is tricky, since it's not cardigan season in the stores (that's what happens when stores all over Europe sell the same things)...the weather here... hmmm, yeah, it's not Italy obviously.

-  to read a book - it's going slow, but it's going! I took on quite a big task to myself, but im glad i did, even reading a page, makes a day kind of brighter :)

TedTalks are always fun. Here is one, you've might have seen, but i'll post it anyway. It's about being wrong. ;)