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Felting a dinosaur at the moment. That's what you do when you accidentally buy too much the stuff... 500 g of raw wool is a big bag of wool. Didn't see that coming. How did it happen? I'll tell you the next time we're having tea, or coffee :)

Two months with two little ones. Hm. Wow. This Monday driving back form the music class for toddlers, it was obvious, that the way we arrive and how we get back and even the time in the class... we're getting better at it with each try. I've been going out with the kids every day now. Conquering steep hills of different kind, getting the best out of playgrounds and the old-town. Quality time. Catching birds, carrying twigs and looking and looking around. There's a bit snow left from Wednesday. Is this the snow he'll remember? 

Many suggestions, many thoughts about it have been circling around my mind, but as i sit down to write them, i feel that felting that dinosaur is more important. But then again i don't want to forget that it was and is sometimes a difficult task. Parenting. There are times when i feel like a diplomat in crisis situation, when both of them cry at the same time. And then there are these super sweet moments when Juss gives his sandwich to his little brother to eat, or his favorite toy car for him to play with, so he wouldn't cry. 

Advice to give..? I probably will forget the back-pain and those aching wrists and look back in awe of how adorable and sweet and smart they were already when so little. It makes sense. Because we're meant to remember the important and the good. 

 If your'e a new mom and having a hard time, then know: You are a good mother. Even when sad, or frustrated, or helpless, or confused. You're good. Embrace yourself. You are a beautiful being. It's a difficult journey letting go of ones ego, making those compromises, but so is any quest to a new self. 

Im heading back to my dinosaur, or maybe going to bed.. ?

Dinosaur. Can't sleep unless i finish - "so silly of me" i'll be saying tomorrow morning ;)

♥

Shadow and red cheeks

There should have been snow, it got cold and sunny and then warm and foggy instead. The marathon-man is worried. On the 16th February there's the local sky-marathon; training on snow will be possible only in January. Im quite okay with it, because we're able to move around with our big stroller for two and that alone is a big improvement. No more stuck at home times. We're out exploring the world... well, playgrounds mostly :) 

On Tuesday i was heading back home, only to find out that the road i planned on going was all dug up, so i had the choice to go all the way back (there's a hill with no real road over) or push the stroller up almost a 75%  steep hill. I was in a hurry too, so the steep hill it was. A "wow", as i made it. Never had stronger arms like these before (coming from someone, who did gymnastics for 13 years). Probably around 20kg and a backpack. I think i don't need to worry about any marathon: i can just join in anytime, since I'm having the greatest workout possible :)

In estonia you see many mothers wearing skying gear/sportswear on playgrounds and on walks. I never understood and thought that maybe one looses a sense of fashion when becoming a mom. Last winter i got to experience it. There is a practical reason for it- it's practical!

That classic coat with no hood is no good, when there's wind and I'm forced to run around, also, it's not really friends with little muddy boots, that happen to graze unavoidably, when lifting and carrying an adventurous little one. It's either cold or wet or rainy or all these three together. So, this winter im also looking at the hiking- and sportswear direction to stay alive (i mean, not stressed out and frozen). Sadly, the choice here is so limited, there's the high ranked gear for taking mount Elbrus or neon colored bling-bling stuff snowboarders wear, but is not really my style. Men can find dark-green jackets also in the fishing and hunting shops, but for women the choice is bland. In the biggest shopingcenter in the south i could find three choices with good material, that were knee-length and with a hood and with a reasonable amount of pockets, meant for "her". Only three! 
And it's the guys, who sit and work in the offices all day, while their wives fight the weather outside pushing that stroller!


Amazing... i can truly write a whole post about a jacket. Must start reading a book...right now!

But first, something Swedish:

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All my random thoughts and news i can think of right now:

Our first attempt to move to the countryside didn't go as planned, but we're not giving up yet. Considering it as a lesson and waiting for our opportunity. I can't hide, that i'm a sad, since in my mind i was already planting my tomatoes and potatoes. Oh, that's life, i suppose. 

Last week was crazy: Monday our neighbor took me and the kids to a music class for toddlers. And i'm quite helpless and useless to Juss, when i'm nursing Miky; on Tuesday we had a play-date in a park in town and it was so-so. Getting there and getting from there was tricky, everybody crying and all. The feeling you can't get anything right just crawled in and has stayed. He's eating sweets in the corner now and promised to do yoga with me in the morning...hah, yeah right!

Therefore our weekend was a good one. When everyone is telling you what you should/could do, it's nice to hear someone telling you to do nothing and taking care of you. Raising kids in a city is much more stressful and complicated, for parents and for kids, it seems. Or is it just my mellow side, idealizing? I can only find out, when i truly try it out.

A while ago i saw an article suggesting people to tell more often to mothers "you're a good mother". But when i tried doing that the next day, i just got in to an awkward situation. "What do you mean by that?" So it's a sentence i assume people really don't use often. Sounding more like an offense? Would have never guessed.

Because we also have many dinosaurs in our home, this post made us smile widely.  

As of from yesterday I'm cruising around with a baby-carriage for twins. It's big. 

I want to paint again. I don't know how and when that will be possible, but i really want to... need to.

Friends have been visiting us on the weekends and every evening has been fun. Giving this warm feeling and already wanting to invite again, and again :) and.... again.

All in all: November, you're okay.

♥

I guess it's nothing new to dream of all the things you'd like to do, if you'd have the chance to do them, and when that free time comes, ... the mind goes blank and the hours are spent by doing really nothing productive. Probably, that's also something that needs to be done time to time. That's how i soothe myself now.