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Body-issue.

A quick post.

I'll write about it because i think it's important. To me. It started with a sentence of a friend (like so many things, which is great!). It was when i announced that we were becoming parents; that i was pregnant. /Now you can eat a lot, everything you want, cos it's allowed, want my sandwich? chocolate icecream?/.

My midwife also told me, that often the pretty-slender-perfect-body-girls ride right after the meeting to a fastfood drive-in... cos it's all allowed now...

Since im a person who never got through a diet..., i just got hungry and then thought *shrug*  i'll just eat. That means i've been eating everything i want all along. Not always quality over quantity, but times more healthy, times not so. And i've been in my current state(minus the muscles) since highshool. I even went to my BA graduation ceremony with the same custom-made dress i wore graduating 9th grade. Body-type: curvy, weight: normal. That said. I really didn't like people asking me how much I gained during pregnancy, with a smile on their face. It felt weird to hear, even more to answer. Then i just said that i've gained enough and the baby is growing well. I think, thanks to the fact that there was never  forbidden fruit in my diet, i didn't go crazy and just ate the way i normally did, putting a bit more attention to the healthy stuff. I also took a nutrition consultation from an expert during pregnancy; i wanted to do something good for me and my baby. 

I had these thoughts as i was looking for a dress to go on a wedding the coming friday. I noticed that it's hard to find one in what you can actually nurse, (without being forced to take the whole thing off). I hope buttons will find their way into fashion again.

The meaning of this post? To tell myself that im beautiful.
Hope you weren't too annoyed.

EDIT:

The trigger of this post was/is my own insecurity when trying on dresses in the department store. I guess i wanted to make a statement to myself. To look at myself with a generous eye, telling my body, that it does a great job. To turn my eye away from flaws and notice the pretty parts im truly proud of. 

Why this is such a "huge" deal? 

As i was a teenager it was a hard issue for me. And not only for me. It's hard for girls in that age, since beauty seems to have measurements. Bus as i was a member of a rhytmicgymnastic group since the age 6, the transformation was not welcomed. I suffered. Everyone did; the unluky ones, who's genetics predicted some curves here and there. Some went on a diet, some went to dance in the backrow. Before turning 18 i just left. From one day to another. It was a sudden change for others, but not for me. I've had enough. I entered a theatergroup instead and found that inside me is a very interesting person. And people around me were interested in that person, not the waistline.

Looking at pictures from that time i feel regret for not feeling pretty. Also to have kept (or keeping) that critisism so close to heart all this time. The thing im most sad about is that it drove me away from dancing. But i hope this love will someday, in some way, bloom again.